tom selleck

sometimes when i see tom selleck
i cry

you know whose an idiot? babies.

it's like: who wants to
jumpboard brainwaves
at the coma party?

can't speak english
for shit
can't do mathematics
for shit

not even pre-algebra
in which, when i took it,
even that retreaded guy
got pretty high marks.

car keys are not food
squeak toys are not food
toes blankets are not food
dog food is not food